Years ago there were few people who got divorced. That has changed radically over the years, and there are tons of divorced people looking for dates on Internet sites. The question arises: is it okay, or perhaps, even better to date the divorced person versus the
single or widowed person?

The next question: how is it possible that so many amazing divorced people exist in this world? Who would ever let these wonderful people get away?

When you read the profiles on dating sites, everyone seems, oh so nice. Actually, they seem incredible. Go ahead and read the profiles of all those divorced people and you will find a world of saints. However, you can be assured that there is at least one person who
would have a negative opinion of all these saints. Yes, the person from whom they divorced!

One would have to guess that when two people can’t get along in marriage, at least one of them is either not so reasonable, difficult to live with or outright nuts. You job is to figure out if this person is the shell or the nut.

It’s always nice to believe that those who divorce were just not compatible and went their separate ways, however, they loved each other at one time, and something happened. Did they grow apart; lose interest; age at different incompatible rates? Or was there an
organic deficiency, a disease state that resulted in the incompatibility that broke them apart?

Often times you will find that one, or possibly both of the parties are depressed and that could have lead to the break up. If you married a relatively normal person and they become depressed, they are not the same person. After a number of years living with a depressed person who doesn’t get treatment, it can result in irreparable consequences.

Your job when Internet dating is to check their medicine cabinet to see if it was them or their ex who was on the psych medications.

Besides depression, bipolar disorder goes far and beyond making life miserable, if not controllable. If the medicine cabinet reveals meds for
bipolar, you may want to rethink this person as a mate. Uncontrolled bipolar disorder is a rollercoaster you don’t want to ride.

How about alcoholism? This disorder is one bane of society where up to 30% of the population has or had a serious problem with alcohol abuse. Living with an alcoholic is not a fun thing either. This person can be as nice as anyone, yet change in to a Mr. or Ms. Hyde when inebriated. They will often lose their job and become angry and abusive.

Your detective work in finding the right mate for you is to figure out why this wonderful person (in their profile description) was divorced. Besides the mental condition and alcohol abuse, there are those with anger management problems, drug users, low stress individuals who make a commotion about everything, wallflowers who have no interest in leaving the house, cheaters who never want to stay home, cheap guys who won’t spend a dime, poor guys who don’t own a dime, sexless mates who will eventually withhold sex. This list goes on. Think about all of the people you know who got divorced and add those reasons to your list of things to avoid.

On the bright side, there are likely many wonderful people who have been divorced. Sometimes there were incompatibilities that allowed them to divorce while they are both wonderful people. Sometimes you will find the one who was really stuck in a bad deal and they were truly a great person.

An advantage of the dating a divorced person is that they have a better understanding of marriage since they were there. The down side is that they could be jaded. They may never wish to marry again. This can be a concern if you are looking for marriage.

Don’t be afraid to test the waters. Give a date a chance. Don’t get too invested in anyone until you have had a chance to understand them and know them for a while. What’s a while? It could take several months, even a year, before bad traits show up because most
people are on their best behavior in the early stages of any relationship. If you see negative traits coming out, head for the door.
You are not going to rescue anyone. You are not going to cure this person’s depression, anger issues, personality disorder, or drinking problem. Remember, there are a large number of divorced people who are not anything like their profile. Don’t be duped into a bad relationship. Maybe it’s better to find a single person or a widow to date.