Quite often, when perusing the little photos of perspective mates on Internet dating sites, I think the dating service must have sent me suggestions from the wrong group of women. These women are very much older than me.

Annoyed, I would then look at the person's age, and I'm really shocked! These old looking women are often ten or more years younger than me. How is this possible?

Actually there is a simple answer - I look just as old to all the women looking at my photo.

Yes.... you get old and don't see it.

Many years ago, at 75 years of age, my father told me he couldn't believe that he was 75. Inside he said he felt like 21. At that time, I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. Now, I understand. As we age, we don't see the cumulative effect. After all, we look in the mirror every day and it's difficult to see much change from day to day. If you didn't see yourself for many years, you would be shocked at the way time takes a toll, just like when you see an old friend from years ago and you can't believe it's them.

There is a set point at which people actually look young to you. For each of us this set-point may differ a bit, and I think it changes as we get older. For example, I notice that the forty-something women seem to look young to me. I suppose when I'm eighty, the sixty-something women will look young.

Do the mates ten and twenty years younger than you have any interest in becoming your soul mate? Good question! I would suspect that they are experiencing the same dilemma and looking at people ten and twenty years younger than they are.

I always laugh when I see a woman 56 saying that she is looking for a mate between 40 and 52. Does she think men in thier forties are looking for her? Is her perception of "self" a tab-bit warped?

It's a little understood but real phenomenon - we don't realize how much we have aged, and we seem to be attracted to people who look like we think we do. Boy, are we deceived!

Fortunately, there are some people who have aged very well. You’ll know them when you see their photos, feel an attraction, and then be very surprised when you see their age, because they look ten to twenty years younger than stated.