While on a cruise, one of the comedians told a joke that went like this:

They say two out of three people are ugly. Now look to your left and right and if you see any one that’s decent looking... you know what that means.

Yeah, we all laughed, and I suppose most people were too drunk to get the joke or make the realization that there is much truth to that statistic, unless of course they were from Lake Woebegone, where all the children are above average looking.

So what do looks have to do with dating? Very simply, a hell of a lot!

Did you ever wonder why you do, or you don’t, get many people flirting with you on your online dating service? It’s not really a wondrous, inexplicable phenomenon. You’re hot or you’re not.

I hate to be blunt, or shall I say politically incorrect, but people tend to want to date good looking people who are pleasing to their tastes, and if that statistic is correct, then two thirds of you may not get lots of flirts, while those lucky “beautiful people” get tons of flirts, even more than they can handle.

If you think about “good looking”, it really is a major life benefit. Great looking people have an upper hand when it comes to most everything. They have a better chance (not a guarantee) of getting the job, getting on the good team, being picked for nice things, and being liked by others. It's almost built into our genes as exemplified when they do psychological studies of children, who always describe pictures of the "beautiful people" with all sorts of attributes like honest, kind, good etc.

Success for beauty doesn’t always work that way, because there are those not so hot lookers who are jealous of all the beautiful people and in positions of power to offer jobs and other good things in life. They may just slight you if you are beautiful, but most times it is the way life operates.

Even those who are in the two-thirds group, you remember the "not so hot looking" group, once you have something desirable (like money), you, too, may want to “buy” those beautiful people. Just look at all the examples of not such great lookers holding trophy mates on their arms.

Let’s face it, everyone like pretty things: good art work, good movies, good food, great vacations, beautiful houses and fabulous furnishings, clothing and jewelry. It’s just the way it is unless you are a monk, goth, or some other type dedicated to the higher thoughts in life. So that’s why most people work hard to get all that great stuff.

Fortunately, there are things that can attract the beautiful people to you besides money. Yes, things like expensive cars and drugs. Just kidding. There are many virtues besides looks and money. Personality, kindness, intelligence, being funny and witty, these are just a few great qualities that attract the beautiful people. Actually they may be the only qualities I can currently think of.

If you desire beauty over substance, there is a good chance you may get less than you expected. All too often, the people who know they are “hot” come with an attitude, expectations, high maintenance, and/or the curse of always being hit on.

When people are constantly staring and flirting with you, it can give a false sense of worth. As such, very attractive people may have affected egos leading them down paths that can cause much grief. They often attract the shallowest people and their relationships can be fragile. If temptation plays into their ego, they could end up in disastrous affairs that also prove to be rather shallow and even dangerous at times. And once the looks go, their relationships may crumble.

Does all this mean you should follow the dictates of that old song “Make an Ugly Woman Your Wife?” You ladies can substitute “man” in the lyrics because all of this stuff applies to you, too.

I don’t think it's necessary to mate with those who are specifically not good looking, however, the point is, you want to use discretion and keep your eyes open.

Be alert to the person who is stuck on themselves, overly materialistic, overly flirtatious, puts too much emphasis on looks and wealth. This is all common sense stuff, but common sense seems to go right out the window when we let shallow desires lead us into bad relationships.

Here is an interesting test to see how money and looks and dating are closely tied together. Take a look at who's driving the next ten high-end cars you see on the road. In almost 45% of the cars in my recent test, these were the "beautiful people." That's a very large number. I think you won't find that large of a percentage of really hot men and women driving Honda Civics.

The women in these high-end cars are often hot, hot hot. This tells me that they did something special to get this car. And while I know I am generalizing, I suspect they worked very hard at “catching” a big money maker.

You have to remember that many of the big money-makers are very smart, and to overly generalize once again, when growing up, the very smart kids were not always the “beautiful people.” Was it just in my school that this happened? Didn’t you have a "Mary Smart" in your class who excelled in every academic endeavor? Yeah, now you remember. She was the one that all the guys picked on who had lots of time to hone her academic skills at home all weekend because she never had a date. This was the Goofy Gottfried, the teacher's pet, who went on to Princeton and became a rich geeky computer entrepreneur.

So it is my theory that many hot women go after the wealthy guys even if they aren't "beautiful." Many of these guys are so happy to get this woman, because she would never look at him if he didn’t have the money. Yes, life is cruel and it’s certainly not always fair.

Same with the really hot guys in those fancy cars (still talking about the 45% of beautiful people). Yes, they are gay and have hooked up with really rich old, ugly gay guys who "keep them" and let them drive their cars.

Much of this post is cynical, but there is some truth to all these comments. I know there are many attractive people who make it on their own. There are at least five of them.

The other day, when I was developing this theory and testing the hypothesis, I saw two hot women from the rear in a fancy and expensive Benz. I followed them so I could get a good look. Now here’s what I saw when I pulled alongside: They were not very hot at all. As a matter of fact, they were old and haggard. They had way too much sun exposure over the years causing all sorts of wrinkles, making me at first think a Shar Pei was driving with a pug in the passenger seat.

These women were part of the other 40%. This is the “not so hot” who have lots of money and can afford to spend thousands on their hair, makeup clothing and jewelry. From the back, all I saw was beautiful, flowing, poker straight blond hair that had to cost a ton. These women know how to take care of themselves, and I suppose they love people staring at them just like most narcissists. And while the women do all they can to look hot, the men in this category are often hopeless. They are often not great looking and not cool. They don't know how to get a makeover, or they are not good specimens for such a makeover, however they love to flaunt their money by driving those cool cars so they can attract beautiful people.

You've seen the ones I’m describing. Very likely you have even made a comment that goes something like this when he’s sporting a hot woman next to him in his fancy car: “What does she see in that guy. I guess he has money.” You notice how you never assume she is with him because of the size of his…

And I doubt that you ever said, “I guess she’s with him because he has a great personality.”

Now let’s look at the last 15%; those who have money and are not from the “beautiful people” and don't really care. Those are the ones who are down to earth and usually very nice. They have no pretense and do not need to look a certain way to feel good about themselves. These are the people who you should ideally try to find for life partners.

In summary, if you are very attractive, there are more people who will want to date you, but it doesn't mean you will be happy. To the contrary, it can sometimes make your life more difficult if your values are shallow.

For the rest of you, the other two-thirds, you may have fewer choices that match what really appeals to your eye, but you too can end up with the wrong, high maintenance person who will make your life miserable if your values are shallow.

Moral of the dating story: Don't be shallow. This advice works for all daters no matter what they look like.
Good luck in your search!