Depending on your psyche, age, looks, the date of separation and a multitude of other factors, you may or may not be ready for love.

That’s not quite right. You’re always ready for love; it’s commitment you may not be ready to grasp.

That’s not even right as some are not ready for love or commitment; they are just ready for baseless raw sex.

No, that too is flawed thinking. The fact is you may or not be ready for any of the above at any particular time, and your wants, needs and desires may vary from time to time.

The problem arises when your wants, needs and desires are not in sync with those you meet, much like they weren’t in sync in the marriage that resulted in divorce.

The good part at this stage of your life is that you aren’t bound by a contract that will see half or more of your net worth go to your "mate from hell," at least not yet.

It is the very nature of divorce and what it can do to you psychologically, physically and financially that makes many divorcees gun shy. This applies to both men and women, more so to the breadwinners, but everyone is affected in various ways.

The dependent partner (psychologically and/or financially) may be looking to marry for security, while the independent partner may prefer to enjoy the status of dating and being happy. Those who were badgered in a relationship (physically and/or mentally) may also prefer to remain single.

Your job, or shall we say quest, is to find someone looking for the same things you want. This is often not easy to do on a first date. The sadness arises when you spent time learning all about the potential mate, fall in love, and then realize this isn’t the one for you, because of being in a different place than you may be at the time.

If you want to have some ammunition on your side, you can use some common sense to predict what type of person you met. The mere knowledge that one has been spurned by their spouse who engaged in an adulterous affair is an indicator that they may need time to "ever" think about marriage again. The same applies to one who was physically abused.

While that is not a hard and fast rule, a relationship with those types of people may go nowhere. Keep in mind that it doesn’t always work that way. Some spurned individuals run to another relationship for the security they need in being with someone. You just take the generalities, the rules of life, and see if they might apply while keeping an open mind.

Remember, all your dates don’t necessarily work out, and you may get hurt. However, also remember, in the words of that famous bard, Alfred Lord T., “”It is better to have love and lost than to never love at all.”

The big question is, “Should you waste your time with one who is not in the same place you find yourself?’

Good question!

Only you can answer it. If you have an abundance of people who can’t wait to be with you, then you can be picky. If you’ve been searching for that special someone for years, and he/she comes along and is not ready to settle down, you may want to enjoy each day as they come and not pressure them to tie any knots.

If you have a great time with that "special someone" and would like to spend the rest of your life with them, remember that wonderful feeling of love, passion, lust and desire will most likely not last beyond the honeymoon, after which you might realize you’d have been better off having a fun time with that wonderful person for as long as it lasted. For you see, having a second divorce cannot be all that much fun. So don’t jump into, or out of, relationships just because of insecurities.

What about the serial dater or the person who doesn’t want to have a monogamous relationship? This is a personal choice. With all of the diseases running rampant in the dating world, a monogamous relationship is the better choice from an infectious disease point of view. However, know that a monogamous relationship may also lead to a dull existence. Some people prefer to just date many people.

Some guys find dating many people to be very difficult, as having enough time, energy, money and sperm makes this task near impossible especially as you get older and have less energy.

Unless you are a good juggler, CEO type, or just plain amazing, it is difficult to get a bunch of people to just date you. There are those who can pull this off and even consider it a "dream come true."

Some men and women with a lot of money have the forethought to avoid risking their wealth and sanity in the bonds of holy matrimony. And being successful and worldly, they know that "many ships in many ports" can offer great pleasure in contrast to a mundane existence fraught with all the vagaries that define the human condition. They don’t need marriage for financial security. They can certainly pay all of their bills, and if they become an invalid, they can pay a nurse to take care of them.

Many women and men have no interest in becoming caretakers for someone they’ve known a few years. They’d just as soon enjoy being taken care of while all is well and be able to get out when necessary.

Your iDating experiences offer you many chances to find that perfect mate. Just remember, it still takes a lot on your part to figure out if this is the right person for you.

Yes, those looking for second marriages or love affairs in later life have different needs, wants and desires. They are not looking to have kids at this stage of life. They are all looking for happiness as they define it for themselves.