Here it is, Sunday night, again. Sunday is the night I wanted to post this blog, but for one reason or another, the posting days vary.

While we are using movie titles for posts, (last week it was Home Alone) we continue this week with Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - a well received movie from the past.

You’re thinking, A rather provocative title for this post. You’re probably wondering who’s coming to dinner? Is this an interracial thing, like the movie? Actually it’s not related to race, and it’s you who are coming to dinner to meet the kids.

There comes a time when you get to meet the children. This may vary depending upon the age of your date, when she or he decided to have children, and what their personal philosophy is regarding such matters. And you may meet the kids in any of many settings, not necessarily dinner.

Since much of this blog is about older iDaters, meeting the kids at this stage is less stressful since the kids are often adults by this time. Coming home to meet the kids is often unlikely at this stage since the kids may be living in their own homes and they may have their own kids. So let's not worry about meeting the grand kids, though that too presents some issues we can discuss at another time (like when you are older).

The most difficult children to meet are those who are little, like in under eighteen and especially under ten. If you are fifty-something or sixty-something and iDating, you won't run into the young kids unless you start dating people ten to twenty years younger than yourself. Yes, dating those young hotties has some definite problems you may not have thougth about until you find yourself paying for their kid's college education.

Some parents want the children to meet their dates way to soon. They often introduce you as a friend which is alright. Others want to call you aunt or uncle and this is not a good idea especially since these kids usually end up having twenty or more aunts and uncles. When they get old enough, they'll realize you are a slut or a womanizer.

If you have the luxury of holding off "the meeting of the kids" until the relationship is serious, that would be best. If you have no sitter and the guy has to pick you up at your home, it may be best to explain to the child, if they are mature enough to understand, that mommy is looking for a new husband. Of course consultation with a psychologist is warranted if the kids are too young to understand or if they are old enough to carry a firearm. If it's the guy who has to introduce his kids to the "new woman" he can merely tell the kids he's looking to get laid (yes, this is suppose to be comedy).

There is much more chance of complications when the children are young. The psychological implications are varied and have much to do with the situation (divorce versus death), the maturity of the child, the relationship the child had or has with either or both parents to name a few.

Even your personality and looks come into play. If you are beautiful or handsome, the children may be more inclined to accept you (this is probably an Oedipal complex thing), while if you are witch-like and scary looking, you may not have such luck being accepted as a replacement for their real mom or dad (and that is probably like a scary movie thing).

The best chance of a successful meeting has much to do with the preparation made by the child’s parent. If the "ex" bad mouths them and you, you may have problems being accepted by their kids. If the children favor the parent you are dating, you have much more chance of a good relationship. Since there are so many variables, the few rules offered may help you in your quest for peace.

Make sure you never bad mouth their children even if your date does so. You are the outsider and blood is blood. The stressed parent may say things they really don’t mean or believe and when you agree or elaborate upon their negative remarks, they may turn on you. If you really like this person, you have to accept their children to some degree based directly on the degree they want you to.

Being complimentary about the children will ingratiate you with your date. That doesn’t mean you have to be phony, but don’t be afraid to praise them when in order.

Try to be personable and include the child in your conversation i.e. don’t brush them off. They can sense insincerity and being discounted. The older the children the less hassle, as college age kids have their own lives and probably care less about you. You can still show interest in their endeavors.

While you may be more interested in hopping in bed (mostly the guys), or looking to buy a diamond ring (mostly the gals), you may have to spend some time with those little rascals belonging to your date. If you love kids this will enrich your life, if it’s the bed hopping or diamond that means more, this will be an imposition.

Control you expressions of discontent or you may just lose this person. I know that if my potential lover and new life partner didn’t like or want to be involved with my kids, they are no longer in contention. Many people feel this way about their kids.

If you really don’t like kids, theirs in particular, and if they want to dote on them incessantly, you may be in the wrong relationship. Recognize the reality and move on as required. Even good sex or big diamonds don't make living with a miserable family worth while.

It is nice to ask about your date’s kids when you are in a real relationship or if you wish to move the relationship forward. Bringing a little treat to the kids is a great way to bond. It can be as simple as a candy bar or a kilo of cocaine depending upon the interests of the children. Not only will the kids like you, they may get you naked pictures of their parents.

Since, as noted earlier, many of you are older and dating older mates, the kids will mostly be living out of the house, either away at college or on their own. Opportunities will arise allowing you to meet them. Don’t be afraid (or too cheap) to take them to dinner with you. Not only will you ingratiate yourself with you date, you may get new insights that can help you close the deal or move on.

If you find that your perspective mate is overbearing, or controlling, or spoiling their kids, you may find yourself experiencing the same things once they hook you. Keep your eyes open and use all of the information you glean to help you make informed judgments about this potential new life partner. The way they treat their kids is often a good indicator of how they will treat you.