Many of my "fans" are getting impatient with all this disease stuff. I ask that you bare with me (no silly, keep your clothes on!!). Just a few more diseases and we shall be done. Then we can get on with the important things that will help you find ther perfect mate.

Herpes (also known as herpes simplex virus or HSV) is a virus that most people know of as the common cold sore.

Herpes is a very real issue for any daters and just because you are older, you are not immune to getting this disease.

There are two types of herpes virus: HSV-1 is the virus associated with oral infection – cold sores. It is also referred to as Type One Herpes.

The first exposure to the virus is usually a bad case associated with multiple ulcers in the mouth and on the lips, fever, lymph gland swelling, and feeling weak and tired. Many times this first exposure occurs in infants, so you probably had your first exposure and don’t remember it. Subsequent outbreaks are usually not bad. They usually result in one or more ulcers that last a week or two.

Many people confuse another oral ulcer called an apthous ulcer with herpes. Apthous ulcers are not herpes and not likely contagious. Since you may not know the difference, pretend any mouth ulcer could be contagious and you’ll be a lot safer.

HSV-2 is the herpes virus associated with genital infection i.e. ulcers found on the penis and vagina. It is also referred to as Type Two Herpes.

Like HSV-1, the first bout is the worst, with more ulcers, fever, and generally feeling crumby.

HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals and HSV-2 can be transmitted to the mouth. While these similar, but different viruses are usually found in there respective regions, they can jump the boundaries. This means that oral sex can result in your getting genital herpes from someone who doesn't have genital herpes and the reverse is also possible.

About twenty percent of Americans have genital herpes and about twenty percent of them know they have it.

What does this math mean?

Well, one out of five people you date could have genital herpes, and 80% of those with the disease don’t know they have it. This means there is a good chance you may be exposed to this virus when you are dating lots of people.

This means you should use protection when you have sex. Ideally, you should use barrier protection for oral sex, but most people just don’t, because it is not as much fun. Of course having recurrent painful sores on your penis or vagina isn’t fun either.

There is a real dilemma with regards to telling your mate about herpes. The stigma associated with genital herpes is staggering. Most people never give a thought to oral herpes, probably because it is usually associated with an occasional outbreak that isn’t too bad. Genital herpes can offer the same mild recurrences.

In either type of herpes, if you have bad recurrences you could be rather miserable. Since herpes is a virus that never goes away, and because no one likes thinking about a chronically sore penis or vagina, the odds are good that if you list genital herpes on your i-date profile, no one will call you other than those similarly infected.

Do you have an obligation to tell a perspective mate about herpes? I guess you do, but it can make your pickings limited.

Could you pretend you are one of the 80% who doesn’t know they have genital herpes? I suppose you could. You have to decide what you want to do. Perhaps consider your case: if you have frequent outbreaks, you should tell, because you are more likely putting others at risk. If you haven’t had an outbreak in years ask your doctor what he thinks. Maybe you could let sleeping dogs lie (shouldn’t have used that word: lie).

Taking Valtrex, an anti-viral medication may provide a solution to preventing the spread of herpes to your mate by reducing the chance of you having an outbreak. This is something you can discuss with your doctor.

The drug manufacturer does state: Valtrex will not prevent the spread of genital herpes. Herpes infections are contagious and you can infect other people even while you are taking Valtrex.

Whatever you do, avoid any sexual contact when you have open sores as you are more at risk to contaminate your mate and you are more at risk of contracting AIDS or other nasty diseases at that time because of the open sores.

One day, when the medical establishment realizes that cancer is a viral disease, they will probably then be able to prevent or cure all the viruses that live within our bodies. Until then, you have to keep your immune system in top notch condition by getting plenty of sleep, eat right, and avoid stress.

The advantage of monogamous relationships is that if you both don’t have any of these things, you can have all the sex you want anytime at all. The problem is that if you have or had a monogamous relationship you may have already lost interest in sex, a sad reason that many of you are looking for dates in the first place.