With all the talk about first kisses and first sex, we may have overlooked the need to find the right person to kiss and have sex with. You need to find the person with all the desirable traits you want in a mate.

Desirable traits are a personal thing. However there are some universal traits you may want to consider in your new mate. If you have trouble relating to many of these good traits you may just be a poor candidate for a relationship.

When you read a well-written profile, you will find all the desirable traits that are supposed to let you find eternal bliss. Since it is my job to guide you, I already went to those good profiles read all the traits, did a complete analysis, and offer them to you at no additional charge.

Keep in mind that people exhibit good traits most often when they are on good behavior during the courting process. Even the not so bright Internet daters know that they have to be on best behavior in order to make a catch. It’s up to you to see through the phony people out there and look into the heart of the one you want to spend the rest of your life with in a sound, grounded relationship.

The typical application forms you have to fill out from the various iDating companies have check-offs for you to enter your traits that are then posted under your profile. This helps you, and others, find the perfect mate who may exhibit certain traits that you and they find desirable.

The following are many of the good traits they list along with my interpretation of the possible underlying truths that I note in parentheses: adventurous (irresponsible), artistic (starving artist), conservative (dull and uninteresting), clean cut (not very stylish), earthy (hippie who forgets to bath), easygoing (semi-comatose), flexible (practices yoga and is good in bed), open-minded (willing to try anything i.e. irresponsible, however they may be great in bed), eccentric (belongs in an inpatient facility, but due to modern laws we let them wonder the streets talking to themselves), flamboyant (show off exhibitionist), flirtatious (slut), playful (slut), friendly (lonely), kind(sucker) , high-energy (ADHD or a possible methamphetamine addict), humorous (village idiot), intellectual (dull), low maintenance (liar), sensitive (complainer), nurturing (likes to have their breasts suckled, however more likely by an infant than you), loving (slut), outgoing (hooker), practical (cheapskate), quiet (a bore), shy (a bore), romantic (predator), self confident (narcissistic sociopath – stuck on self), serious (no fun), responsible (no fun), simple (think Simon), sophisticated (braggart), worldly (prostitute), spiritual (not of this earth), talkative (lunatic/ADHD), unconventional/free spirited (think ex-convict).

I hope you are getting the idea. You see, if you look at the bold traits and don't recognize that there is the possibility of underlying meanings, you may get burnt.

While this list of traits is really what you will find on Internet dating sites, and the parentheses are in jest, there is often truth in humor and some of these hidden meanings are not so far from the truth as related to some individuals. Keep this in mind when searching and choosing those you wish to meet. Remember, people sometimes check-off what they think others want, and they themselves may be nothing like what they indicate on their profiles.

Besides the personality traits noted above, there are some undesirable traits the dating sites throw in the mix. I find it hard to believe that anyone would actually include these traits offered online in their profiles. Maybe it’s really a test or a secret code for those in the know.

Whenever anyone includes negative traits in their profile, you know they must be deranged and you should avoid them at all cost.

Things like argumentative (nasty), compulsive (I’ll never let you go even if you don’t want me to), high maintenance (gold-digger), procrastinator (He/she never calls so forget this one), and stubborn (ornery) are just a few of the ones you may want to avoid like the plague.

If you don’t see the negativity in those kind of traits, then even you can find a match among the losers of the Internet dating world. Again, please take note of the hidden meanings in parentheses.

Trolling through the profiles can be interesting. You are looking for someone who you think will think and act like you, or at least think and act like you would prefer. Remember, opposites attract, so you may need to look for the opposite of how you behave, though I don’t subscribe to that theory. I think you should find someone who likes things you like and has the kinds of traits that you admire.

The most important trait you should all be looking for is honesty. All the others come into play, but if you are with someone who isn’t honest, your chance for happiness is poor.

There are not too many stupid people on dating sites (actually there are, but it’s not nice to say so - you remember the Bambi rule), however there are some dishonest, or shall we say fraudulent people out there who, interestingly, put honesty at the top of their list of traits they possess and desire in others. It is truly scary that some real jerks are out there looking for a mate. Be careful.