Conversation shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do, but there are some rules you need to follow.

Don’t show yourself to be an idiot, a braggart, a pompous ass, a know-it-all, or a dolt.

Try not to express your views on religion or politics and never tell them about the vast fortune they could share with you if you were to marry them.

If you’re smart let them begin. If they, too, read this book and took this advice you’ll have a nice time staring at each other and you never mess up on all those rules in the first paragraph above. This should be the perfect moment to practice the silent meditation you learned in your yoga class.

You have to learn to be natural. If you are a talker go for it, but let the other person talk too.

If you are quiet, don’t expect to woo them with your oratory, but be willing to answer a question or nod your head like you understand what they are talking about.

If you are not too bright, you, too, should try to answer a question and nod your head when it seems appropriate.

Small talk doesn’t cut it. You actually have just a few minutes to find out something about this person and get them to like you, so don’t be afraid to ask all the usual questions. If you already did this on previous phone calls you should know something about this person. And if you are smart you would have done some research about their interests:

“So, as an amateur entomologist, tell me something I don’t know about the mating practices of the north woods cricket?” He/she will love you!

While I jest, there’s nothing wrong with doing a little research to allow you to engage in a conversation that interests this other person. If a woman is a retailer in the garment business you can ask about the upcoming fashions. If a fellow is a trash hauler, you can ask where he thinks Jimmy Hoffa might be now-a-days.

The easy way to start a conversation is to figure out what kind of coffee or tea you want and place the order.

I may be a traditionalist, but you can expect the guy to fling for this high-ticket date. I don’t think it is necessary for the lady to offer to pay. If the guy asks you for your share, you don’t make a scene and you take out your money. At this point he better be pretty darn good to make up for all the credibility he lost by being a cheapskate.

Once you’ve found a table and settled in with you drinks, you can ask about what they do if you don’t know.

“What’s it like to be a dentist (goat herder, massage therapist, lightning expert, etc.). How has you summer been?" (Winter works here too, if it’s the winter).

The standard questions don’t really show off your personality, so you may want to consider starting a conversation about the Internet dating experience. Both of you should enjoy this topic, as you are living and breathing it as you speak.

An easy start:

“How long have you been doing this Internet dating thing?”

This opens the door to some good material.

Many times you can discuss your predicament i.e. how you got here. Most everyone is a gossip. To have a chance to hear about your situation, especially if it’s at the level of a soap opera, is great fodder for your conversation.

Just be sure to avoid portraying yourself as sour grapes, vindictive, hateful, or angry even if you are. It’s much better to come across as hurt, shocked, and victimized while avoiding the extreme in any of these areas of victim hood.

Most conversations tend to go well with reasonably normal people. If there is nothing going on, it means that one or both of you are dullards, one or both of you are not having a good time and don’t want to give the impression that there will be any other date than the current one, or there are no common interests.

Don’t force it. If nothing clicks after trying a few times, mention that you have to get going; get up and get on with your life.

If you are having a fabulous conversation and time flies, you or the other person are either a great conversationalist, you have a lot in common, you or the other person is trying to be polite, or you have found your soul mate.

Enjoy the time and recognize that there may be some future to this relationship. However, don’t get too excited, because there are some genuinely nice people with great personalities who make the most of any meeting and they may not be interested in getting together again.

Next time we will be addressing Acceptance and Rejection. I can't wait!