INTERNET DATING AT ITS BEST/WORST
The first week on TrueLove, I got a few “winks.” On Jdate they call them ‘flirts.” The names explain what they are. This is an easy way to see if someone is interested in you.
Along with the wink or flirt comes a one-liner. They are things like, “Your profile looks interesting,” or, “your profile made me laugh.”
These little catchy phrases are rather cute and at first I thought the other member made them up and I was immediately attracted to such a witty woman.
After all, if they could identify the qualities of a perfect catch, it showed me that they were pretty sharp. Then after getting a few of the same phrases attached to these flirts I realized it wasn’t their creation. It was the choice offered by these savvy services that are trying to hook up couples.
As it turns out, the more creative and interesting members, or at least the better educated ones actually email you their original thoughts that may give a better glimpse into the person.
On the first week of exploring TrueLove not much happened until I got a wink followed by an email from Darlene (all names have been changed to protect the innocent and me). The email was signed Angel Baby. That user name and her picture exited me.
It was mostly the picture – yes, lift bras and cleavage excite me, and most other men too, much like professional degrees with expectations of a comfortable life filled with jewelry, vacations and leisure visit upon the imaginations of ladies who’ve learned better after spending a life scrimping with a guy who struggles to make ends meet.
TrueLove – what a great domain name for a dating service – probably cost them plenty. There is something exciting, almost sexual about contacting potential lovers on the Internet.
I can’t be sure if Internet dating services are the greatest way to meet people, but I suppose for every downside I can think of there are probably just as many with any other way to meet. And cyber sex is the biggest moneymaker on the web so there must be something to this phenomenon. I just wish I could invent the penis port and the vaginal hard drive to attach to the USB ports and I could make a fortune while letting people go beyond the virtual sex they vie for in chat rooms.
Getting back to real love, I contacted Angel Baby by using True Love's email service, and told her I was interested in meeting. You do your initial contacting by emailing the perspective mate using the email from the dating service. This keeps the other person from knowing your real email and having the means to stalk you.
Once you’re are sure this person is legit, you can always send them your real email address and continue your relationship without constantly logging into the dating service.
Angle Baby gave me her phone number and volunteered too much information, like that she had a home in N.Y. and all this stuff about her inheritance. Like I said, way too much information. That kind of information invites the predator, gigolo, kept man types to your door. If you have nothing else going for you, so be it, tell them about your money as long as you can handle the phony bull shit these types offer.
Rather than call her, I continued correspondence with the email as this was my first experience and I was kind of afraid to talk to her. She invited me to meet her at the Wawa in Pudunksville, a small town in the sticks. Oh, right! I’m going to meet you in a place that sounds like the place they filmed Deliverance.
I told her I’d like to meet her at one of the local casinos. She preferred the Wawa. Now this made no sense to me. After all, meeting at a casino is rather public and there is no worry in a place like that I assumed. I told her to bring a friend if it would make her feel safer. No such luck. She insisted on meeting at the Wawa. I had this weird premonition that I would end up in a dumpster behind the Wawa. Not a very pleasant thought.
At that point I figured there are a lot of people who want to meet so I’m not off to Pudunksville. I never did meet Angel Baby, and who knows, maybe it was a mistake, but better safe than sorry.
If you see someone you would like to meet, you can merely look at their profile and they may take the hint (since they know you looked at them) and contact you. If you don't hear from them in short order (that means 24 hours if you are desperate to meet someone) then send the wink or flirt or whatever your iDating service calls it. If you want to add one of the witty comments offered by the Internet dating service, you can, but just remember, they probably got ten of those same comments: "your profile looks interesting," or "I liked your profile."
It is much smarter to create one of your own original notes. It doesn't have to be long and bard-like. It can be simple, short and sweet: you mention something you read in their profile and tell them you'd like to meet.
It should go something like this: "Hi Angel Baby, I liked your profile, especially your interest in walking the beach. Let's meet so we can see if we would like to take that walk together."
Now that's cool! Notice I didn't mention the great looking cleavage. I just picked one of her interests and played upon how we could do it together. That's all there is to it.
Don't screw this up or they will never want to meet you. Don't try for the, "I noticed your nice cleavage and thought I could see it better if we walked on the beach." Notice the subtle differences between the two approaches.
Never look desperate.