We live in a fast paced world were we want instant gratification and instant everything. While this post has nothing to do with karma, it sounds a lot cooler than calling it instant messaging (a.k.a IM), the actual topic at hand.

One embarrassing moment occurred when I was on line and an instant message came through. First of all, I heard some kind of outer space noise, like an alien had zapped me with a ray gun. I was all alone and I had no clue as to what was happening. Finally, I realized the noise came from my computer, and it was some lady who wanted to IM me. And I can’t stand IM.

For those who have no idea about IM, it is instant messaging. A strange noise precedes a window appearing on your computer screen with a message from someone who would like to communicate with you. In this case it said, “Hi, I see you’re on line rather late (it was 1AM) and I thought we could chat.”

The last thing I wanted to do was to start a conversation that requires me to type at the speed of an amphetamine addict and try to predict what to say next so that I can catch up with the other person, as they, too, type like a demon. IM is not for me.

The first problem was I didn’t realize other members of Internet dating services can tell when we are online, and second, I didn’t know technically how to respond to this IM, and third, I didn’t realize I could just ignore this person trying to IM me on the other end of cyber space.

After a minute, I figured out how to respond and I wrote, “Sorry, I don’t respond to IM’s.” This denizen of the night didn’t write again as I am sure she found some insomniac to correspond with somewhere.

There is no rule that you have to respond to any of the IM’s, emails, flirts, winks, or contacts of any sort if you choose not to. And for all of you who don't get a response, remember that no response is a response. It either means that person is not interested or they never looked at their messages, or they are no longer active on that site. For your ego's sake, just assume they are no longer on the site.

You can actually hide the fact that you are on line in the settings of each iDating site. If you look around the web site, you’ll find that they explain how to hide yourself in a section called FAQ’s (frequently asked questions).

You can even block others from seeing that you looked at their profile. Yes, each time you look at another person’s profile, they know that you were there looking at them. You can forget about privacy when you really want to find a new mate.

There is something almost erotic about being invisible and looking at people. I think the Association of Psychiatric Practitioners calls it voyeurism. Most of us know it by the common term: pervert.

If you do make yourself invisible, you may not get much action online or off. The object of looking at other profiles and putting people on your Hot List is so others can see that you are interested, and they can respond accordingly. Each Internet dating service has a hot list equivalent that allows you to save profiles of others for you to eventually decide if you want to contact them.

Once you learn all of the neat features of Internet dating, you can customize your approach to the hunt: be visible sometimes and invisible other times.

You may want to remain anonymous when you are spending a lot of time looking around and then make yourself visible again for those you finally decide to go after. Hopefully, you’ll find someone to date before you become the world’s authority on all of the features of your Internet dating service.

I have heard several people say that they feel an obligation to respond to anyone who contacts them. You don’t have to and probably shouldn’t. I, too, feel that it’s the polite thing to do; however, everyone kind of knows that many of their requests go unanswered.

Don't let your ego become fractured by this manner of rejection. It’s just the nature of the beast. Of course, if no one ever responds to any of your queries, use the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pictures for your own as mentioned in the post on photographs and user names.