Internet dating takes you on a nostalgic trip back to your youth when you stood in front of the counter at the corner candy store. There were so many things to choose from. You felt excited, happy, a little confused, but generally wonderful because you were about to pick out something that appealed to your sense of sight.

While you may think it was about flavor and taste, all of this junk is made of sugar, and as a kid, your tastes weren't that sophisticated. Let's face it, you really were attracted to the colors and shapes that the manufactures used to draw you to their products.

Suddenly, as an adult, you find yourself gazing upon that candy store counter and see hundreds of pieces of candy (that will be our metaphor for your prospective mate) from which to choose. And as shallow as I thought of myself using nothing more than visual cues to decide who I might like to date, it dawned on me that the very essence of being drawn to that which we find pleasing is very normal and human. It really is all about the chemistry of attraction.

What I have learned by meeting a number of Internet women is that if I wasn’t really attracted to them immediately upon seeing their photo, I wasn’t going to be drawn to them in person either.

Do understand that looks are not everything. It was only when you got older that you realized some candy was better than others and that the color and shape, i.e. the looks, wasn’t everything. Certain candies had better texture and flavor that could be described with subtleties unknown to you as a child.

Your understanding of people works the same way. As you get older, you learn more. You realize the qualities that are important must be balanced along with looks to find true happiness.

I can assure you that if the most drop-dead gorgeous perspective mate is not kind-hearted, soulful, intelligent, truthful, and loyal, and they turn out to be generally a nut case, you will lead a miserable life if you were to partner with them solely based on looks.

The other day I met a very attractive woman who gave me the impression of being high-maintenance. You know the type. Upon speaking with her, my impression seemed well grounded. This doesn’t mean a person who spends lots of time making themselves look nice, and who is interested in the finer things in life isn’t a good person. They may, in fact, be wonderful. It just means if you are smart, you have to look at all the attributes one has when picking a mate.

And remember, you are allowed to want someone who makes you feel good when you look at them. Yes, along with all those other important things, you must have the chemistry for a relationship to work out.