Absence makes the heart grow fonder. What an important concept for the dating set and for all couples as well. Who said it? Thomas Haynes Bayly (1797-1839) was the one who made it popular in his day. What’s it all about? I miss you! Those words explain it all for anyone who has been in love, lust, like or even just part of friends and family. The words engender a warm feeling, and the stronger the relationship the more meaningful are the words. If you haven’t seen your loved one for a long time, the “missing you” and the “reconnection” are all that much sweeter. The ...

What a great title to a song for yesteryear. Breaking up is not a new concept nor is it just seen with dating. After all, many of you broke up with a spouse of many years, or perhaps a business partner, and that too was not easy. There may come a time that you realize you have to move on – this is not the right person for you. The breakup may be easy with few consequences or at worst it could end in violence and even death. While violence is not the expected result, we read about the murder of estranged, disgruntled couples every day. No matter how well you end a relationship, if it is ...

 This may just be the most important question you have to ask yourself when embarking on the quest to find a date/mate. This question may be on par with, "What is the meaning of life." After all, you may find out you don’t even belong on Internet dating services. Yes, you may not be an iDater. Take pause for a moment to think about your own desires and needs. In finding a mate to live with forever what does the prudent person look to find? Communication and conversation to allow for discourse seems to be very important. The broad umbrella of companionship would better describe thos ...

Who knows what lurks in the hearts of others? Great philosophical question when you think about the concept of meeting strangers in any venue, but especially when engaged in iDating. Here you are, trying to meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you might even want to trust them with all sorts of personal things, even your money. So you would like someone who is sane. Ironically, in all the profiles I have read of every person on Internet dating services, I have never seen anyone actually state that they were looking for a sane individual. Sure, they al ...

I’m not sure if it is oblivious, deceit or poor judgment, but I just had a woman send me a flirt and when I looked at her profile, she indicated that she is “stunning.” You have to remember, on the dating sites they give you a check list of choices to describe yourself. It goes something like this: Under Looks they can give you these choices – average – good looking – very good looking - stunning. Now with this particular woman, I guess she wasn’t sure what to write since they didn’t have a closer match for her, like zombie, weird, or plain vanilla ugly. It is disconcert ...

People in the "dating stage" don't usually think much about "control issues" with their new mate because they are "in heat" and more concerned with making this person happy so they won't leave. For many married people, years go by and there may be no issues about being controlled, until the impending divorce. Then, the therapist or the close friend decides they were controlled and they embrace this reason as the cause of all the tumult in their lives. I suppose it also helps one get a better divorce settlement if they can convince some family court judge that they were a victim who had bee ...

  While men may pray at the altar of the Jade Temple, women may pray at the Mount of the Crimson Mushroom. To help out those who don't understand the poetry in these metaphors, just know the Crimson Mushroom is exactly what you think it is, so stop wasting my time by asking silly questions. As men do foolish things in order to pray at the Jade Temple, so do women at the Holy Mount... maybe even more so at times. Women in the know understand how powerful it is to shower affection at the Mount. They understand how when the Mount is in the Vesuvius mode, i.e. rea ...

I hear it all the time: “I don’t want to just settle.” It’s as if these people are in search of perfection and will not compromise. I guess we can’t really blame them, but realistically most people have to settle because there are only so many perfect people (like you and me) to go around. Have you ever thought about settling because it's difficult to find Mr. or Ms. Perfect? Do they even exist? Do you settle for less than your ideal mate? Before we can answer this question, it makes sense to first look at the consequences of settling. If you don’t settle, t ...

The Jade Temple is the vagina for all of you who have not figured out this artistic method of creative writing. If you ask, or wonder, why the vagina should be a subject on a treatise about dating then you don’t understand the power of sex as it relates to interpersonal relationships. Men do all sorts of stupid things to pray at the temple. They also do noble things at the same temple. The more you understand the power of sex in relationships the better you should be able to navigate the dating waters, and for that matter, all aspects of relationships from friendships to marriage. ...

Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) Genital Warts – This is an important issue for all of us older daters. Since an illustrious past president seemed to regard oral sex as something innocent, too many kids today think of oral sex as a non-issue. Many of them actually think it is safer than having conventional sex. They may be mistaken and so may you! Genital warts are the most common sexually transmitted disease caused by a virus. Here are some stats from the CDC (Center for Disease Control). Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. Another 6 million ...